The Worst Day Since Yesterday

Well I know I miss more than hit

With a face that was launched to sink

and I seldom feel the bright relief

It's been the worst Day since yesterday

If theres one thing I have said

Is that the dreams I once had now lay in bed

When the four wind blow my whits through the door

It's been the worst day since yesterday

Falling down to you sweet ground

Where these flowers they bloom

In it's Dirt I'll be found

Hurry back to me, My wild calling

It's been the worst day since yesterday

Alot of news on my end. Stuff I can't say, but I'll manage on keeping my mouth shut. There have been things going on and I am glad they had been brought to light. Much better than being left in the dark. Mother knows best :)

Brandee's Birthday, Kaia's Birthday, Ava's Birthday, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Valentines Day, St. Patties Day, is every Holiday I have missed so far because of this trip and it bugs me to death. My girls are growing up and my Wife is doing it all alone. I'll be home soon :)

Today I got the best news I have had in a while. I know everything in this Blog sounds grim but I am actually doing alright. I just count down the days to when my life will get some kind of normal and not military 24/7. 8 months is a long time to be gone, but the finish line is coming up, so I keep that in the front of my head and keep going. As you can see by the picture, good news is here, so I should be happy, but I am not. Funny how I am not getting suprised by anything anymore where the Navy is concerned. I really don't like my job, I hate how it takes me away from my family. Funny thing is that my best day out here is worse than my worse day at home, and thats sad.

Sorry it has been so long.....nothing much going on.....Kaia has been AWFUL the last couple of weeks...but the last 2 days she has been alot better... Ava is too much. She is hilarious, she just dances and sings all the time. She goes and plays with Kaia in her room. Its kinda nice that they play together....but then kaia ruins the moment by dragging her on the floor or picking her up....ughhhhh I just need to remember that Rob will be home soon!!!! about a month and a half actually :) so yeah just waiting on spring to get here so we can get out of the house. Lately, we have only been going to the store...i think we are all getting cabin fever. I HATE WINTER!!!!!!!!! hoping the next duty station is Hawaii :) okay well time to get kaia settled down. oh yeah for some reason my comp isnt accepting the memory card and thats why i havent put any pics up in quite awhile. so yeah thats about it!!!!!!

An Ocean of Memories

I have always been drawn by the sea. Tonight I sent an Email to my Mother and then My wife and was about to call it a night before I decided to go to my place, outside of the ship, just to be alone for a while.

The sea was black, the sky was black. I felt completely alone and isolated from the rest of the world. I sat out there for about 5 minutes before my eyes ajusted and the stars shone bright. My eyes however did not stare at the sky as I remember them doing for the better part of my life, but they drifted downward to the black abyss below. The black turned into little dots of floresent blue. Almost like twinkling stars in the water. Then a streak of blue shot across through the water, a perfect line, almost like a shooting star. I looked back toward the hull of the ship and the ripples were glowing a bright floresent blue. It was amazing. I smiled and came back inside and began typing this blog.

My thoughts are this; "Happiness isn't real unless it's shared" That is what I summed up from that. The entire time I was out there I would have loved for my Wife to be there, my children asking "Daddy, why does it do that." With the glow of bomb blast on the horizon and a doomed economy, all I care about is home.

Bailouts cont...

I wrote that last one in a bit of the rush. So I will elaborate....

Obama's stimulas package has me, along with a good majority of the nation worried. Socialism is on the horizon and we are welcoming it with open arms. Bush started this, with the bailout of two banking giants, (didn't agree with that call) and Obama is continuing in the trend. Bailing out should never be an option in a Capitalistic Democratic society. This is why I am convinced that we do not live in a True democracy. There is not one buisness in America that now has to worry about failing/filing for bankrupcy because good ol government will save you, no matter how shaddy your buisness practices were. Also where does this leave the other buisnesses that are doing it right? I am all for GM and Chevrolet Vehicles, but you know what, if they fail, they fail. That is the nature of the beast. Let some other company (Saab is knocking on GM's Door), that is successful come in and run it right. Thats how it's supposed to work.

I am fearful of the future of this nation. Democracy as we know it is gone. We live in a nation where it is acceptable to be crooked in buisness, horrible in managing money, screw over the consumer and it's ok, infact you are rewarded for it. "Since our consuemers don't like us anymore and refuse to buy our products, we'll ask the government for help and they will help us", just because we want to save 60,000 jobs. People adapt, people will find other places to work...... this is sheer madness. The government has no faith in it's people.

And to top it all off, the United States just borrowed (from who I don't know) 1 Trillion dollars yesterday.............. I believe the name of the "handbasket" is America and we are on our way down.

Frail

Convinced of my deception
I've always been a fool
I fear this love reaction
Just like you said I would

A rose could never lie
About the love it brings
And I could never promise
To be any of those things

If I was not so weak
If I was not so cold
If I was not so scared of being broken growing old
I would be...
I would be...
I would be...

Blessed are the shallow
Depth they'll never find
Seems to be some comfort
In rooms I try to hide

Exposed beyond the shadows
You take the cup from me
Your dirt removes my blindness
Your pain becomes my peace

If I was not so weak
If I was not so cold
If I was not so scared of being broken growing old
I would be...
I would be...
I would be... Frail

Bail Outs

So yeah, this entire thing had me upset when Bush did it, and now that Obama has conducted this on massive proportions....... Makes me nervous for the future of this country. I keep asking myself this question; If the government wants to save this country, then why are they rewarding compainies for bad buisness practices by bailing them out? If they were to redistribute the wealth to every tax paying citizen, wouldn't that make more sence? I know when I got my check from Bush, we paid off bills. I think that 700 Billion redistributed to the people would pay off the houses they owe money on, thus making the consumer happy, making the banks happy becuase the loans are paid, and so are they....... Economics at it's finest, put the consumer first, amazing how that works. Thats why I will never be involved in government. My Brain works.

Invincible

Today I had a bit of an epiphany. Brandee and I will make it. Everyone said we were too young and we’d be divorced in a year. We are getting ready to stare 5 years Married in the face together and will continue to push though the year’s together holding hands the whole way through. When I married this woman over 4 years ago, I didn’t know what I was getting. She is a woman who is devoted to her children and her husband, always putting herself last. All I knew when we got married is that we loved being together and wanted that feeling to last as long as possible. Life moved on and so we grew up with the times. We learned how to adapt and overcome every trial together. Deployments, children we weren’t ready for; we accepted the hand we had been dealt and loved every second of it. Granted life will continue to throw obstacles in our path, and during the struggles that will pull us down; we will use these chances to turn things around. And we will do that, hand in hand, rocking away the years in our Cracker Barrel Rockers :) I can truly say that together we’re invincible.